With All My Heart

Good Morning!

This was a very special week for me. However, it was also the most unpredictable week I've experienced in a long time. Everything felt like a coin toss; uncontrollable and unpredictable. Allow me to explain:

We are still working with our friend, Meghann. She's doing well! We had our lesson this week and we discussed Priesthood and what it is. After that I brought up baptism and she told us that she wishes she'd been baptized back in December! We didn't have too much time, but we set expectations to discuss plans at our next lesson, this Thursday. 

Amos is another friend we have. He has really good intentions, but right now Elder Dickey and I don't feel like he's progressing very well. We've gone over three times in the past two weeks trying to drop him, so we were pretty committed to stop teaching him before transfers drop. However, at our last lesson we asked about baptism again and committed him to pray about it, but then we stumbled across an iceberg of his! He is still a little confused on the Trinity vs the Godhead. So we explained some things and challenged him to pray about that too. He's got a lot to pray about!

We are teaching these three kids. We lovingly refer to them as "The Clan" because they have five younger siblings who are running all over the place every time we try to teach them. They were baptized on Sunday. That sentence sounds much easier than reality: we held four separate baptismal interviews, spent easily five hours at their home, one of the people doing their baptism totally got sick morning of the baptism, one of the kids almost left on Sunday morning to go take care of horses all day, another kid had to come to church or she wasn't getting baptized, the list runs on. They have made their first covenant with God, and I am humbled to be a part of the process, and witness the Lord's hand in everything. Despite every possible setback occurring, they followed through on their commitment! 

It's all too often that I feel confusion leading up to transfers. I never know quite what to expect, but without fail every time something big changes, I can tell. Usually I'm a little unsettled by the Spirit. This time I was unsettled, but Elder Dickey was going home so I figured that was it. Half of me wanted to stay and be with all my friends in Kanab, and the other half wanted to go anywhere else. Well, I had a lot of grand plans on how this would work out. Then the transfer board drops and I find out I'm being transferred to Minersville!

My dad looked it up this morning, there's not even a thousand people in that town. Minersville was also a part of the Beaver area when I served there in February. Well now I'm going back for another February! My new companion will be Elder Dale, who I've heard good things about. It should be a fun transfer at the very least, but definitely wasn't something I was expecting!

On exchanges in the North Stake, I was privileged to teach a young woman named Kris. She's from Texas, and just graduated college. She has a lot of deep questions, but an honest desire to learn and strengthen her faith in Christ. This happened on Wednesday and that was an eternity ago, so the details are hazy. But we started the lesson with one plan in mind, but I could sense that it wasn't teaching to her needs. What followed was a lot of questions, answers, and inspired revelations from God. We shared the messages she needed to hear and challenged her to seek personal experiences with God, through the Holy Ghost, prayer, and scripture study. I have a powerful testimony that without the Holy Ghost, we would never fully understand truth, or the nature of God. I know that lesson was what Kris needed, and it was one that I needed to be a part of. It's one of my favorite lessons taught in Kanab!

It was in this lesson that I learned more about a verse I've come to really love.

Moroni 8:26

And the remission of sins bringeth meekness, and lowliness of heart; and because of meekness and lowliness of heart cometh the visitation of the Holy Ghost, which Comforter filleth with hope and perfect love, which love endureth by diligence unto prayer, until the end shall come, when all the saints shall dwell with God. 

The line "which love endureth by diligence unto prayer," really stood out to Kris and I. She taught me that meekness is equivalent to self control, or discipline. When I take that understanding of the word "meek" and apply it to the phrase "diligence unto prayer" I begin to more fully understand what Mormon is teaching us. 

When we have self control, we are more receptive to the Spirit and better operate within God's laws. In other words, we are more obedient and receive the blessings for that obedience. Greater self control provides a stronger level of diligence. You'll notice that the Comforter brings hope and perfect love, but that the "perfect love" endures, or lasts, only by diligence unto prayer. This suggests to me that we need to seek this connection with God. Undoubtedly, self control, humility, and obedience will bring the Spirit into our lives. But the blessings of the Spirit remain as we request them to, and express gratitude for them. We can fulfill both these requirements as we call upon God, in prayer, consistently. 

As missionaries, you see a lot of our focus being on baptism. This is because baptism initiates a covenant with God, and as set apart missionaries we are authorized representatives of Jesus Christ, and carry forth His teachings by His power. However, baptism is not truly the focus. The desire of our hearts is conversion. It's not enough to baptize anyone if they aren't converted, or seeking a greater conversion, to the gospel. Such a conversion is obtained only through the constant, gentle influence of the Holy Ghost. We will not recognize the Holy Ghost regularly or reliably if we are not seeking His counsel. 

I'm in a constant state of reflection as a missionary. I want to do better and be better. Because of this desire for improvement, I've seen miracles in the work and in my life back home. Steps continue to align themselves as I take them, moving forward with every stride. I started today discussing a coin toss. It's predictably unpredictable. So it felt my week would have been, at any moment something could go wrong, and everything would fall apart. Yet whether or not things worked out, I've already committed to serve with all my heart. 

One of my favorite songs to listen to as a missionary is the song titled "All My Heart". I feel that the first verse represents me back in May 2022. The chorus reflects my perspective now. 

1.I told myself so long ago,

though I stumble, though I fall,

I'll walk this road forever.

I know that half a heart won't do.

I'm giving all of me. I choose

to walk next to the Savior.

With all my weakness, all my flaws,

He says He loves me more than I can ever know.

I'll put my trust in Him

[Chorus]

With all my heart.

I will follow Him in faith

With all my heart,

All my mind and all my strength.

He takes my fear and gives me hope.

He takes my pain and lets it go.

So I will serve and I will love

With all my heart.

There's so much I have to learn, and so many steps to take and paths to follow after I finish serving the Lord as a missionary. But I'm grateful for every second of it, because it's made the rest of my life so much better. 

- Elder Williams

Mailing Address:

881 South River Road

St. George, Utah 84790

Pictures:

1. Snow in action.

2. Snow on the mountains.

3. More snow and clouds!

4. Nathan, Candice and Natalie!

5. District Council blooper.

6. District Council!

7. Sam! I'm grateful for his desire to come closer to Christ.